I came across my dad's charge from our wedding this morning and sat down with a cup of hot tea to read it. I cried. This is the season of thanksgiving and I am grateful for a loving and sacrificial God, faithful parents whose obedience to Him echoes out of truly thankful hearts, for a husband who loves God and opens my eyes to see more of God's glory and grace every day, and for the opportunity and blessing that we are given to teach our children to walk in His ways, to love Him and know Him that they may reap the benefits of His blessings.
The Charge:
Anna. You were first placed in my arms in Seoul, Korea under the name Bae Yun Mee. They told me and your Nana, who was with me, that name meant “Forever Beautiful”. My charge to you is related to that name. Some will say you are the woman you are now in part because of me and your mom. And to the extent that is true I give all the glory to God. But I say I am what I am in part, because of you. What a blessing you have been to me from the first day you became a Hostetter.
I mean, look, I get to stand here and look at my daughter dressed in pure white, knowing that for you the white dress is not just a tradition or a symbol of purity…in your case it reflects what is true. You stand here a picture of faithfulness, obedience and purity. But this day did not come without pain. I think you understand that the pain that accompanies living unto God is temporary, while the pleasures and joy of doing so are everlasting. And the opposite is true; the pleasures of living not unto God are temporary (and there is pleasure) but the pain is everlasting. So, you stand here now ready to have your faithfulness translated this day into great pleasure and great joy. Today you are dressed in white and tomorrow you will be whiter than snow.
The Preacher asks in Proverbs 31:10 “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” Henry, I think you found one. Now Anna you will be what you are not because of me or your Mom, but in large part because of Henry. And I know he is ready to follow his father’s good counsel. And Henry will be what he will be in large part because of you.
Here is my counsel. (And in saying this I already know you will be faithful to your pledges and vows—I know that.) But do it not out of obedience or duty, as good as those character traits are in a noble woman, but out of gratitude and thankfulness to please a Savior who gave His life for you and to please a husband who loves you and is ready to give his life for you. The Preacher also says: “charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
That is what will enable your husband to be respected in the city gates, that is what will cause your children to arise and call you blessed, and that is what will cause you to be what the Lord ordained when before we knew you, you were called Bae Yun Mee.
